Happy birthday

Hey, have a great 20th :) just wanna let you know, I really have had fun while it lasts and I would like it to simply remain a memory. I didn't really forgot about you when I went on to poly, but it's for the best as it is like this. We shouldn't risk ruining the picture perfect memories we've had frozen the previous time. Thanks again for everything and all the best in your life :)

If Only ...

Well, if only I actually could listen to this. Everything would make sense and i guess i'll probably stop being so ... well, Zavier.

Ups and downs II

Well, when I finally thought I actually had a chance, it simply crashes and burns once more. Why is it always like this. Urgh. Really getting sick of this rubbish 😨

Conclusion

Well, to sum it all up, I guess I would conclude that I had and still have a little infatuation (OKAY, maybe a lot) with miss A. But I'll probably just let it go. If we're meant to be then we are. I mean, no point going after someone that you know wouldn't mutual, it'll just annoy her and at the same time kill you. So, RIPPPPP ._.

Final countdown

Wow. Really ironic. It's always the first and last few days where things always heat up. I'm sorry I'm just too obsessed with you. I'm probably freaking you out (a lot). I think I'll just let it end like this ba. Nothing good will be born out of an engine disease ._. 8 days to freedom ~

Obsessed.

Miss A, seems like when I'm about to give up, another shining opportunity arises. Although it's another 8 days left, I do wish these 8 days are spent happily. I really made up my mind Lastnight about stopping it, since it's pretty evident that I like you, ( yes, that's right, I do ) but you don't really have any reactions what so ever. Which brings me to the conclusion that, it's only one-sided on my side. And that, who would want someone that you don't like, constantly asking you out and trying to talk to you. Well, you'll probably be annoyed or irritated. So I guess maybe I should stop.

But then again, seeing you in a light blue denim shirt with bouncy... Short hair ;) really re-ignites the flame within. And out of sheer good luck, we had a conversation and I actually plucked my courage to ask you out. Keeping my fingers crossed it will actually work out!

I missed you. But it's time for goodbyes :)

I really missed you. But seeing you so happy with him, I'm happy for ya. I sorely missed those fleeting moments that we shared, moments that I know will only remain a memory and would one day fade to gray. But, it's time to move on. You have and it's really about time for me too. 

Desperation and Obsession

Moody once more. *sigh* stupid phone provider spoil mood sia -.-

Well, I'm thinking that I'm actually too obsessed with her huh. Well, I guess once all this ends it probably won't really matter much ._. So much for a ray of hope ...

Ray Of Hope

Finally I see a ray of hope. It was Unexpected but, helpful. Finally something to keep me going :)

Although it kinda crashed and burned at the end. Could you be the mystery BR. Sure hope it's not. I wouldn't be able to sleep in peace 😨

Mehhhhhhh

Things are going well so far :) had breakfast with her. And my asshole friends of cause feel the need to ruin it all 😒 oh well, she really is cute while eating 😂

Ups and downs

Well well, seems like my emotions' somewhat more stable. Though there are still times where I still have spikes of affection towards you. Haha. It'll probably fade away after this whole OIP thing but still, kinda wished I could do something about it before this 33 days are over ..

I can't take it any more

Yes, I've contracted the terminal engine disease. No I do not know how to settle it. Amelia. I think I'm infatuated with you. Why do you even cut short hair in the first place. I think nothing wouldn't have started without your haircut. This might be weird and all, but I'm severely affected by your responses and stuff. Call me stupid but it seems like I'm really really infatuated with you.

Boring

Calligraphy class is borish. Damn. Another reason to hate this stupid OIP shit. Well, the only thing that's driving me on is that cool ass ZARA cloak 😍 

Update from ShangHai

14th  March : 

I severely regretted joining this stupid OIP trip. Sure, i made efforts to blend in but i guess it's just not enough. I just can't seem to fit into my environment.

21th March :

Arguments starts to happen. I think i've got the engine disease T.T GAHHHH, why do i always get attracted to girls with short hair :/ 

Engine Disease : Mostly occur in engineering guys due to the lack of females, their standards drop low, hence settling for that ''unattractive'' girl that they once saw on day 1 as an angel in disguise. No offence or anything.

23rd March :

Can't believe it. I put them together then now she seems interested in him. Gosh what am i gonna do ~ D:

''PMS'', Mood swings, feeling down. Though i know it isn't much of a thing and i'm simply over-reacting. suddenly i feel so alone in this foreign land. aimless and directionless. hoping this 33days of hell would end fast.

24th March :

As infatuation sets in, the mood continues downhill. Talk about Bi-Polar

I somehow can imagine a future with you. Heh. Seems like my engine disease is at it's terminal stage ..

Troubled.

Urgh. I don't even fucking know what i'm doing anymore man. What's the point of everything. Why did i even went to talk to Y bout this. It's not like it's gonna help. Really dont feel like facing my class anymore man. The feeling of bonding's just not there. Not when there's such a strong feeling of  distrust and conflict...

I sorely miss you ...

This literally sums it all up for me. I really miss you so much. Yes, i meant you. Not any other girls. Those late night conversations we've had, the times we spent together, the things we've done together. I clearly remember every single one of those times (:
Yes, you've obviously left a mark on my heart, Yes, undoubtly you've left a hole from where you've left and Yes, it freaking hurts from where it's not mended. I'm sorry for trying to forget you, cause deep down i know i can't and will probably never. So please ...